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Project 1 - "Get Off My Phone!" by Glenn Beck

 

Project 2 - "Giant, Epic, Huge Space Opera Theme" by Kurt Falkenhagen

 

Project 3 - "Sweeping Sword-and-Sandals Theme" by Kurt Falkenhagen

 

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"Get Off My Phone" by Glenn Beck

I made my project primarily through GarageBand and Final Cut.

Step 1: An afternoon of mind-numbing YouTube Videos of Glenn Beck spouting psycho-babble in amounts ranging from unusual to McCarthy-level.

Step 2: Download the YouTube Videos with the soundbytes I liked using Keepvid.com.

Step 3: Edit down the soundbytes I wanted and export them out through Final Cut.

Step 4: Using GarageBand, I created a track using one of the pre-made drum loops, then affected it with some distortion and an amp simulator. After that, I layered a digital stepper underneath playing only one note. I added some automations to bring the balance in and out at one point and also added some phasing and flanger effects. From there, I started cutting and mixing in the soundbytes from Glenn Beck. Purely by accident, I cut one short and upon hearing it, thought it might make a great dubstep-like audio loop. I put some amp simulation effects on it and looped it throughtout the entire opening of the song. I also added an automation to bring it up slowly. Later on, I decided to split this part into two tracks and pan them in different directions. I thought it enhanced the hypnotic (or obnoxious) effect of this loop. I also added similar effects to one of Glenn's creepiest soundbytes where he is quoting scripture, but instead of an amp simulator, I filtered out everything but the bass and then slowly brought up the rest through an automation at the beginning. At the end of the intro, I killed almost all of the effects so you could hear each of the two soundbytes clearly. I added and mixed more and more soundbytes, most with similar effects.

For the chorus of the song, I editted a three-part soundbyte in which Glenn yells "Get off my phone!" three different ways and then mixed them in with the beat. I saved his most extreme screaming for the main line of the chorus and panned the other two in different directions. Finally, at the end of the chorus, I layered them all together, which created the sensation (in my mind) of three extremely ornery Glenn Becks all shouting at you to get off their phone. I think it worked hilariously, but...seriously, get off his phone.

For the end of the song, I created an analog track and played a simple descending melody and then effected it with some nasty distortion and amp simulation. It ended up sounding like a grungy electric guitar, which I hadn't originally planned on but loved when I heard it.

Another fun accident was when I was cutting up one of Glenn's quotes and realized he spoke it very rhythmically. I cut it as layered it over the end of the song, it's the "Please, keep your clothes on" part. Not only did it work hilariously, but the electric guitar-sound underneath it created this bizarre effect where it actually sounded like Glenn was singing each "Please" at a lower and lower note to match the descending notes of the instrument.

Seriously, listen to the end, or better yet, listen to the whole thing, but, more specifically, listen to the end and pay attention to each "please", he really does sound like he's singing along.

Now, without further ado, I present Glenn Beck's "Get Off My Phone!"